Bali

I recently spent a week in the world's fifth-most populous country, which is ....

Indonesia.

If you knew that you're a heck of a lot smarter than me. I'm a bit disappointed in myself. It's the sort of otherwise useless information usually found on the tip of my brain. There are over 200 million people in Indonesia, a nation comprised of nearly 18,000 islands, with as many as 500 languages and dialects spoken.

I've talked to travelers who have been there and loved it. They said because it's so geographically, ethnically and linguistically diverse it takes time and patience. Seeing the country properly requires lots of time on buses on bad roads and boats with erratic schedules.

I didn't have time, but I did have a great opportunity to visit a friend there on the island of Flores. More on that in a separate post. To get to Flores I had to fly through Bali, one of the most famous beach destinations in the world.

A travel buddy I met on the way from Cambodia to Vietnam months ago was in Bali. It turned out his last night there was my first. There are beaches all over the island, catering to every type of tourist. If you want peace and quiet, or to stay in a ritzy resort, Bali has a spot for you. Nick was staying in Kuta, the beach with a reputation of being a sleazy backpacker hangout. This, of course, I needed to see for myself, so I squeezed in a couple days there.

Indonesia is primarily Muslim. Bali is the only Hindu island. As such, and as a popular destination for western tourists, it has been the target of several terrorist attacks in the past few years.

There were offerings left everywhere, even on the beach.


These little flower arrangements were everywhere, but aside from that Kuta seemed about as Hindu as Salt Lake City. This shot was taken at a local storefront showing a common souvenir.

Yep, it's that kind of place.

I didn't meet Nick and his sister until nearly midnight. We had a bite to eat and a beer but soon the restaurant closed. At that time of night the only place to hang out are the clubs. They took me to one. As we walked in Nick laughed and said over the thumping music, "Look familiar?"

It was very much like a club called Apocalypse Now that we had gone to in Saigon. In fact, it was very much like a tourist nightclub in any Southeast Asian city. We talked and drank frou-frou drinks from fishbowls and watched the freak show. There were working girls, of course, and even more shirtless guys than usual. I was a knucklehead college kid once upon a time but I can't ever remember saying, "Let's go clubbing. Wait a minute while I take off my shirt." Do I sound like a grumpy old man? Okay, I'll shut up.

Nick and Courtney went straight from the club to the airport, from which they flew to Kuala Lumpur. I slept a few hours and hit the beach.

The beach itself was awesome. Long, wide and relatively free of people asking me for money. It was outrageously expensive to rent a sunbed, though. In Vietnam I could rent a sunbed for just over a buck for the day. I seem to remember it being about the same in Thailand. In Cambodia they haven't caught on yet and don't charge for sunbeds. At Kuta beach I had to pay TEN dollars, just for the bed. Crazy.

But it was worth it to hang out with Maya, who looked ravishing even after waking up from a nap on the beach.



I find surfers, by and large, to be a pretty insufferable lot. I should clarify: I have a problem with people who think they're surfers. They tend to be arrogant and dismissive of other tourists because "we" ruin "their" beach paradises. In Kuta there were motorbikes everywhere with side racks meant to hold surfboards. But no surfboards...

There were plenty of people in the water with surfboards. Most of them couldn't even stand up, let alone surf. And no wonder. Look at this raging surf!

I was talking to one of the guys who fleeced me for a sunbed. I asked him when the surfing was good. He said this was pretty normal. I couldn't believe it. It makes Ocean City look like Hawaii. He said people don't go to Kuta to surf, they go there to learn to surf. Other Bali beaches have better surfing. I don't know if it's true but it would explain a lot.

Hence my problem with "surfers". Real surfers don't hang out in places like Kuta. They go to where the waves are. The people who surf in Kuta are more concerned about impressing other tourists than actually surfing.

End of rant.

Kuta is framed by Poppies Lane 1 and Poppies Lane 2, two narrow lanes that run more or less parallel to each other and perpendicular to the beach. Both lanes are packed with budget hotels, restaurants, travel agents, etc. Nick suggested a hotel there which was one of the best deals I've come across. From the outside Masa Inn doesn't look like much.



But inside it's huge. It looks like Melrose Place. This is one of the two pools, with my room just on the other side. Pretty sweet for $22 per night.



Navigating the lanes is, well, terrifying. There's no sidewalk. The lanes are about as wide as duck tape. Motorcycles zip by in both directions because, amazingly, the lanes are open to two-way traffic even though in places they're too narrow for one-way traffic.