I am so disappointed in you. For years you have been keeping a secret from me. I had to move to the other side of the world to discover the depth of the conspiracy. I have finally discovered the secret.
I am a handsome man.
I know it's true because I hear it literally every day. I hear it a dozen times. Maybe more.
Why you no have girlfren? You so handsome!
If you are a foreigner and you go to the bars here -- and it may shock to learn that I have -- you will hear this over and over again. And little else. For girls who move to the city from the countryside it's one of the first things they learn to say in English. You will meet girls who can say little else. It's cute and charming at first but, believe it or not, it does get old.
One of my students emails me from time to time and always closes by writing "I wish you good luck and more handsome." Not quite sure what he means by that. Or maybe I do and I don't want to admit it.
The photo is from the classic Mike Myers SNL sketch Lank Thompson: I'm a Handsome Man, in which he is a self-help guru who teaches men how to be be handsome? He did a sequel with Tim Meadows called I'm a Handsome Black Man with Tim Meadows. In I'm a Handsome Actor with Alec Baldwin he offers advice like "In any scene where you have to sign documents, never look at what you're signing!"
I think the world is ready for Lank Thompson: I'm a Handsome Expat.
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