Mom update

I wrote about how my mother is the toughest person I've ever met. After undergoing a hellish spinal reconstruction surgery, she is going home early because she is recovering ahead of schedule. As my father said in an email, the doctor "thinks she is superwoman".

I've gotten questions from people about exactly what she had done. I'll do my best to explain. This was the fifth surgery on her cervical (neck) spine. It was actually two surgeries. Doctors wanted to do one, then let her recover and see if the second was even necessary. To me this sounds like they simply wanted to be able to bill the insurance company twice. My parents were able to convince them to do the whole thing at once.

Three of her past surgeries were done from the back and one from the front, through her throat. Because since this was really two procedures this time they had to go through the front and back.

Basically, my mother's spine is crumbling. In the past they would literally bolt the vertebrae together to stabilize them. More deterioration, more titanium "instrumentation" as the docs say. The spine is a complicated mechanism, however. It's meant to bend and act as a spring. The procedures she had done were state-of-the-art at the time but unfortunately they changed the dynamics of her spine. The "fix" created additional damage, in addition to the normal deterioration that would have happened anyway.

I'll let my father explain.

"This latest procedure was to correct the curvature of her spine, shave one her discs that was slightly tilted and reposition it and remove and replace all of the old instrumentation and replace it with newer and better material. So now the whole thing is about 6 or 7 inches long and has a rod the length of it to give it additional strength. Hopefully this will alleviate some of her pain and be the last one. Mom is home and doing well and getting plenty of rest."

Long story short: They took her neck apart and put it back together again.

I've received lots of nice comments and messages from people. Some said it was too bad I couldn't be there. Well, she was originally supposed to have the procedure in December, but purposely postponed it to after my return to Cambodia. She didn't want to be in the hospital during the holidays, especially with me home.

Needless to say I felt guilty. I certainly didn't want her to suffer more on my account! But she was feeling okay and in fine spirits while I was home. I questioned whether it was smart or safe to send her home early. My sister's response:

"Mom is unbelievable. The doctors went on and on to her and Dad about how strong and tough she is and remarkable. Everyone agreed it was better for her to be home because at the hospital they check vitals and all about every 2 hours and she needs sleep. She is well enough to move around on her own with Dad's help. You wouldn't believe it. I am so proud of her."

Kelly says she knows Mom is doing better because she wanted to talk about coupons :-)

Lank Thompson

Dear friends and family,

I am so disappointed in you. For years you have been keeping a secret from me. I had to move to the other side of the world to discover the depth of the conspiracy. I have finally discovered the secret.

I am a handsome man.


I know it's true because I hear it literally every day. I hear it a dozen times. Maybe more.

Why you no have girlfren? You so handsome!

If you are a foreigner and you go to the bars here -- and it may shock to learn that I have -- you will hear this over and over again. And little else. For girls who move to the city from the countryside it's one of the first things they learn to say in English. You will meet girls who can say little else. It's cute and charming at first but, believe it or not, it does get old.

One of my students emails me from time to time and always closes by writing "I wish you good luck and more handsome." Not quite sure what he means by that. Or maybe I do and I don't want to admit it.

The photo is from the classic Mike Myers SNL sketch Lank Thompson: I'm a Handsome Man, in which he is a self-help guru who teaches men how to be be handsome? He did a sequel with Tim Meadows called I'm a Handsome Black Man with Tim Meadows. In I'm a Handsome Actor with Alec Baldwin he offers advice like "In any scene where you have to sign documents, never look at what you're signing!"

I think the world is ready for Lank Thompson: I'm a Handsome Expat.

Not better than the average movie

There are no cinemas in Cambodia. Incredible. There are small places that show bootleg DVDs of Hollywood movies or badly dubbed Korean comedies, but there is no Western-style cinema officially showing first-run movies. I work until 7:30 or 8:00 every night. Most movie screenings start at 7:00. Do the math.

My plan to get rich here is to open a big Western-style cinema. The young folks here crave anything "modern", which is not necessarily the same as "Western". When I ride home from work it's full of rich kids hanging out -- at KFC. I dated a fashion model here -- honest -- and the first time we met it was at KFC.

The key to a successful cinema, then, would be to have a cafe/bar where the trendy young folks with money to spend could see and be seen. Heck, I wonder if anyone would actually watch the movie. All I need is a million dollars or so to get started...

One thing I looked forward to going home was going to a real, American movie theater. I was especially geeked to see the new "Tron" movie. The original wasn't quite "Star Wars" but it still had a profound effect on me when I saw it in 1982 (five years after SW). It was waaaayyyyy ahead of its time.

So of course the first movie I saw back in the US was the "Citizen Kane" of the new millenium ... um ... "Yogi Bear"?

It wasn't high on my list of movies to see. In fact, I would say it was high on my list of movies to not see. I took my sister's kids to see it to get them out of the house for a couple hours on Christmas Eve so she could "get the house ready for Santa".

I know the movie looks bad but trust me, it was much, much worse. It was in 3D so the cost of three tickets was more than most Cambodians make in a month, but the 3D was clearly done as an afterthought. Not very 3D-ish. Definitely not "Avatar". However, the kids loved it, and that's really all that matters.



I was flabbergasted to discover that the voice of Boo-Boo was done by Justin Timberlake. Between that and the Facebook movie he's having a quite a year. I always lumped him in with all the other boy band douchebags but now he's actually a guy I'd like to have a beer with. My opinion of him first changed, of course, when he did this.

I also saw "127 Hours". Lily loved it. I thought it was OK. Director Danny Boyle found the perfect subject for his gimmicky style in "Slumdog Millionaire", but I've never been a big fan. As for "Tron: Legacy"? Never saw it. Couldn't convince any of my sci-fi geek friends to go. And then I just ran out of time.

Did I mention I saw Yogi?

Good luck, Mom!

Normally I'd make a jesting complaint about suffering through three or four days of jet lag, but in about 90 minutes my mother will be leaving to go to the hospital for a massive reconstructive surgery on her neck vertebrae. Those of you who know my family know about my mother's considerable health issues. Even for her this is a big deal.

I'm sure she will be fine because my mother is the toughest person I've ever known. I have a similar condition in my back which has required two surgeries. My mother's condition is much worse and much more painful. (She is also, obviously, a bit older than I am!) There are days (like today) when my back acts up and my whole body aches. It's all I can do just to get out of bed. It's a tiny fraction of what my mother deals with every day.

Love you, Mom. Good luck!

Ho ho ho. Go go go.

I am back in Phnom Penh after almost three weeks in the US visiting friends and family. The trip home was a nightmare: 48 hours of travel, including 18 hours in the Seoul airport! The trip back was blessedly uneventful.

It was great to be home, although my blood has thinned somewhat after two years in Southeast Asia. It rarely gets down to 70 degrees here, so I was a little cold...

When I booked the trip I wondered how I would keep busy for 17 days. In the end their were things I didn't get done, projects I didn't get around to, people I didn't get to see enough of, or at all. I tried, but, as always, I am terrible when it comes to planning and managing my time. Hmm... sounds like a New Year's resolution in there somewhere.

Thanks especially to Mom and Dad. For everything.

Thanks to my sister Kelly and her family. Hanging out with her kids, Christopher and Sarah, is the one thing I miss the most from home. It was the one thing I looked forward to the most. Spending time with them was the highlight of the trip.

Thanks as always to Earl and Liz for taking such good care of my dog. They watched her for the year I spent traveling, and officially adopted her when I decided to move overseas. Now she is officially "their" dog but she will always be "my" dog. Oh, you know what I mean... Our best guess is that Scully is 18 years old. She's doing as well as an 18-year-old dog can do! I couldn't have found her a better home.



It was also a thrill seeing their little girl for the first time. Thalia was born just after I left after my last visit home. Now she's walking!

Thanks to Jim and Nicole for their hospitality. They let me crash with them for a couple days, even though they had hosted family for the holidays and were ready for some peace and quiet. I think they just wanted someone to help them get rid of their holiday leftovers, and I was all too happy to oblige!

Thanks to Sowmya for driving me to the airport. She lives five minutes from Dulles and was nice (crazy?) enough to let me stay the night and then wake up at 5 a.m. to get me there on time.

Apologies to Lily -- I still owe you a movie...

My first rainy season

The rainy season in Cambodia wasn't all that rainy. Occasionally we'd get a storm and I'd have to drive my motorbike through knee-deep water to get home, but all in all it was mild. I considered myself lucky after seeing what happened in China and Pakistan.

Other parts of Southeast Asia weren't so fortunate. Super Typhoon Megi crushed the Phillipines on the the way to the mainland. It was the most powerful storm in this area in two decades and that, my friends, is saying something. A super-typhoon is like a monster category five hurricane. I expected to get rain from the edges of the storm but aside from a light shower here and there we got nothing. Meanwhile, a town in central Vietnam got three feet of rain. From one storm.

But when it rains here, boy, does it ever rain. When it rains the classrooms are empty. You can't blame the students for not coming when the water is two feet deep in the streets. There was a big storm before my 6 pm class one night. Only three of 22 students arrived. I had planned a group activity. We still did it, but there was only one group! Here are intrepid students Samrith (white shirt), Gueak Ly (pink) and Huy Sreang (black).



You can see what look like stains on the back wall. It's water coming through the wall. It was raining so hard that water was seeping through the walls and puddling on the floor. Water seeped in behind the map, soaked through the cardboard backing and ruined it. There are water droplets on the inside of the glass. Here's a closeup of the back wall.


Now the weather is quite cool and pleasant. It gets hot during the day but not oppressively so. On some mornings and evenings when I'm riding my motorbike I actually get a little chilly. It's such a nice change. I remember what it was like when I arrived in April, which is the hottest month. Locals and longterm expats said it was the hottest April they could remember. And again, my friends, that is saying something. I am not looking forward to April...

Merry Christmas, Khmer style

The main roads in Phnom Penh are named after kings: Sihanouk, Norodom, Monivong, etc. Sihanouk and Norodom intersect at the roundabout which encircles the Independence Monument, which is modeled after the towers of Angkor Wat. All of the main thoroughfares and the monument are decorated with Christmas lights.

Shops and restaurants that cater to foreigners are decorated and some even have Christmas trees. Supermarkets sell Christmas decorations. Even businesses which are owned by and cater to Cambodians get into the spirit.

I noticed it in Thailand too. One of the main reasons people go to Bangkok is to shop in their swanky malls. The Christmas decor in the malls is over the top in a way that would shame their American counterparts. It got me thinking...

In America we like to wring our hands about the commercialization of Christmas but it seems everyone loves Christmas, which is (or is supposed to be) a Christian holiday. Which makes the Christmas overload all the more extraordinary in this part of the world. According to the CIA website this is the breakdown of the Cambodian population by religion:

Buddhist 96.4%, Muslim 2.1%, other 1.3%, unspecified 0.2% (1998 census)

Notice anyone missing? People are bonkers for Christmas in a country where, for all intents and purposes, there are no Christians! The numbers are similar for Thailand:

Buddhist 94.6%, Muslim 4.6%, Christian 0.7%, other 0.1% (2000 census)

I think part of the reason is that, whatever complaints we might have about Christmas overload, it really is a fun time of year. Who doesn't like getting gifts? I believe the Buddhist culture of tolerance has much to do with it. I hope I don't step on any toes by pointing out that other religions aren't quite so willing to embrace or even allow other traditions.